Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize