this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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