found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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