i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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