Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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