If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize