My first STD was from a foam party
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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