i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
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Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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