No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I wear drunk well.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize