sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
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I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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