He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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