and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize