So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize