Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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