i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize