would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize