dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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