there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize