I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He kissed a someone with a penis
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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