she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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