I wanna passion pit in your ass
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
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The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
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On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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