hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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