I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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