He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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