I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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