let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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