this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
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We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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