he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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