If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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