I CAN MOONWALK!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize