im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize