Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize