i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize