In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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