Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize