He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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