I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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