would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize