i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize