My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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