I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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