is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize