I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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