Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize