I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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