Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize