something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
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Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm always down for nudity.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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