ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
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Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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