I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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