Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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